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The Gamblers' Horoscope

The gambler is a funny little creature. He relies on cold hard facts and sound rational judgment. He makes his bets based on scientific certainties, like odds and probabilities, yet he is often also a member, somewhat contradictory, of one of the most superstitious groups of people. Perhaps it’s a need to appease the lure of cosmic influences in the face of reason and logic that leads to it, but the gambler is as likely to consult an astrologist as he is to dismiss one as irrational and childish. This is why we feel it’s our duty to present to you, our faithful readers, with a gambler’s horoscope.

Find your gambling horoscope . . .

Aries (March 21st – April 20th) Things have been very emotionally turbulent for you this year. You made a huge sacrifice for a friend, which ended up backfiring in your face. Fortunately, things are beginning to turn around but, still, you may want to proceed with caution, as you’re not out of the storm entirely. Stick to low-limit betting games and perhaps pick up a few cheap lottery tickets to test the waters. One more thing: steer clear of the horse track. Your dislike like of the animal may be picked up by the beasts and could result in a dangerous or at least unpleasant situation.

Taurus (April 21st – May 20th) An emotional creature, the Taurus is not always suited to the volatility of a life of gambling. Your stubbornness will often be a detriment here, so unlucky streaks must be given respect. Usually your assertive nature and unwavering persistence allow you to get what you want, but these won’t help you at the casino where your influence cannot be exerted. Games which require skill and knowledge, like Texas Hold’em and sports wagering, are clearly your forté.

Gemini (May 21st – June 20th) Oh Gemini, you and your fleeting attention-span make it difficult for you to focus on any one activity, so you aren’t really suited to things like lengthy poker tournaments and other games which require a great deal of concentration. This isn’t to say that you aren’t intelligent, though. In fact, you instinctively know in which areas you excel and your ability to see logic and spot patterns makes you a natural gambler. If you could only harness this intelligence for long enough, you could really clean up.

Cancer (June 21st – July 22nd) If there was ever a born poker player, it’s you, Cancer. Your inscrutable personality makes you the ultimate bluffer and your exceptional memory makes you a master tactician. If you aren’t already an avid Texas Hold’em player, then what are you waiting for? Additionally, if you regularly play roulette, expect some rather positive results in the near future.

Leo (July 23rd – August 22nd) The Leo is the King of the Casino. There’s nothing you like more than making yourself visible, and what better way to do it than to splash a bit of money around. But, be warned, if you’re not careful there won’t be much money to do it with. You need to exercise caution this month, so try to find other ways to satisfy your craving for attention. Many Leos excel at sports, so perhaps a turn as the betting subject rather than the bettor will keep you fulfilled.

Virgo (August 23rd – September 23rd) The Virgo is something of a gambling paradox. Your general sense of caution and piety don’t make you inclined to a habit of gambling, but your enhanced logic and computational skills lend you a tremendous edge which could easily be converted into bettor’s profit. You’re the type of player who can make sense of abstract poker theory and your ability to utilize pot odds make you a fearsome Texas Hold’em player.

Libra (September 24th – October 23rd) Libra, the ball is most definitely in your court these days. You might feel overwhelmed by the number of options seemingly placed at your feet, but in your heart of hearts you know which choice is the correct one. And you know that you can’t afford to pick blindly, as luck is not usually on your side. If betting on sports, take some time to rethink your leanings, and perhaps even consult a trusted friend.

Scorpio (October 24th – November 21st) The Scorpio likes to give the impression that he controls his own destiny, when really he’s wracked with self-doubt and skepticism. It’s not a great time to take risks, so perhaps you should keep a low profile and stick to less dangerous endeavors. But just because you’re not at the top of your game right now, you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel unworthy. You might want to use this lull in activity to improve your skills in some area of your life. Your mind is a sponge of late, so perhaps you might want to tackle some instructional material so that when you’re ready to rebound, you’ll bring with you an edge.

Sagittarius (November 22nd – December 21st) Watch out, Sagittarians! So-called friends covet what you have and may even try to take it away from you. Many are jealous of you but, let’s be honest, why shouldn’t they be? You are successful and charming, and things seem to be going your way at the moment. Don’t let them make you feel like you owe them something. If you find yourself on a lucky streak, ride it out.

Capricorn (December 22nd – January 19th) If you could only be as lucky at cards as you are in love, you big romantic you. As usual, the Capricorn is eyeing up potential partners when he is supposed to be concentrating on other matters. But don’t fret, that’s your nature and it hasn’t let you down yet. And what about that special person that you’ve recently been reacquainted with? If you consider love and marriage the ultimate gamble, then, who knows, it might finally be the time to just let it ride.

Aquarius (January 20th – February 18th) The Aquarian is typically an intellectual powerhouse. When you’re not analyzing data, you can usually be found investigating some mystery or another. This curiosity makes you a natural for certain gambling activities in which skill and knowledge is tantamount. Don’t waste time with frivolous games of chance like roulette and lotteries, as you have a knack for understanding methods and systems. If you haven’t already committed perfect blackjack strategy to memory, then give it a shot. You might be pleased with your results down at the casino.

Pisces (February 19th – March 20th) The Pisces is by nature positive and idealistic. You seldom consider the worse-case scenario and for this reason end up taking great risks, which can be highly rewarding but also, of course, profoundly disappointing. Fortunately, you can see the good in every situation and your resiliency in the face of defeat is something at which to marvel. Keep laying it all on the line, because to do otherwise would surely bore you to death. Also, a bit of competition in the near future might be just what you need to whet your appetite for change.

Additional Information . . .

As a side note to this horoscope, we now offer an interesting additional bit of information. A study was recently conducted by a top gambling company to determine which, if any, were the “luckiest” star signs. They polled 14,000 regular gamblers and came up with the following list, starting with the luckiest right down to the unluckiest.

- Aries
- Gemini
- Leo
- Capricorn
- Taurus
- Sagittarius
- Pisces
- Scorpio
- Virgo
- Libra
- Aquarius
- Cancer

 

12-Mar-2007, 20:16


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